Expensive retail therapy

Yesterday was a busy shopping day for Gordon Brown. With thirty seven billion pounds of UK taxpayers’ cash, he bought up major shareholdings in both RBS – where a sixty percent share cost £20bn, and HBOS – a mere £17bn for a forty percent share. This “retail therapy” pledged around nineteen percent of national income on the gamble being successful.

In response to calls for heads to roll, Chief Executives Sir Fred “The Shred” Goodwin and Tom McKillop have both received their marching orders. Government also want the banks to start relaxing their stance on lending to small businesses, though there is apparently no agreement to this condition as yet.

In response, the FTSE index rose by eight percent, although shares in the banks slumped again yesterday.

They say that desperate times call for desperate measures, but it might have been nice to be asked before Gordon Brown committed over £600 on behalf of every UK citizen to bail out the banks.

Sadly, we’d only get seven pence each if Gordon shared out Sir Fred Goodwin’s annual bonus of £4.2m equally between the new owners of his bank…

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